Meteor Garden: Episode 18 - What a bitch.

Netflix Synopsis: Shunping's ulterior motives come to light. Shancai taunts her abusers, praying that Ah Si doesn't come to her rescue and put himself in danger.

Ximen gets double points for his glorious, green coat and for his words of wisdom: that even though pleasing girls is his specialty, it's not the same as apologizing on behalf of DMS.

F3 are looking for Shancai and are worried 'cause banana bestie doesn't know either. The only thing he knows is that she left with Lil Bro - now called Big Ears in this recap. Her disappearance is starting to weigh banana bestie down, like the gangsta chain on his neck. Inspector Lei's suspicious instincts are en feugo, especially after they found out that Big Ears dropped out of Mingde, and F3 go to Ah Si's home to regroup.


Yes. He can definitely pull off being Mr. Detective in his next role... The dramatic music in this episode is keeping me in so much suspense! DUN DUN DUN...

Speaking of suspense... Cut to an ominous warehouse where Shancai is found with her mouth taped up and tied to a chair. Meanwhile, mean-looking gangsters rough her up and take her photo.

I think it's proven for men in this episode that the shorter your hair is, the less attractive you are.

DMS isn't answering his phone, but let me tell you how attractive it is for an attractive man to know how to make money in the stock market. VERY.  Lei breaks the news that Shancai is missing.

Shancai sees Big Ears and realizes that he's involved with the gangsters. Apparently Big Boss wanted Big Ears to befriend Shancai and convince her to not be friends with DMS. Hmmm...tying her up seems just a touch more aggressive than that. You hear Big Ears complain to Big Boss about how arrogant and dominating DMS is. #TruthHurts,  but they decide that DMS needs to be taught a lesson. Big Boss tells Big Ears to arrange a meeting with Shancai tomorrow so that he can have a friendly chit chat with her to convince her to leave DMS. He just seems so friendly. I'd like to see him cross DMZ.

Apparently Big Boss' gimp leg is all DMS's fault. And he's about to get even.

Big Ears wants a private tete-a-tete with Shancai and takes the tape off of her mouth.  She doesn't understand why he's doing this and he tells her why (boys and their bar fights) and his dedication to Big Boss. He seems to feel justified, but Shancai isn't buying what he's selling.

And my personal favorite:

DMS received the hostage text and he looks like he's going to explode, or huff and puff and blow his house down. 

Those nostrils deserve an Oscar.

He's told to come alone if he wants Shancai to live, runs off and tells F3 not to follow.

It's rare to see Shancai's dark, Maleficent side come out. I kind of like it.  She's disgusted by Big Ear's hypocrisy and tells him that. She's angry and now she's trying to see if her telepathic powers will work, pleading in her mind for him not to come.  She's talking up a big game that he won't come, and starts lashing out. One of the gangsters is about to kick her, and just like that - you hear DMS say "if you dare to kick her, you'll regret it for the rest of your life." That's right, boi biyatch. Step off. You can't pull a snuggly collared jacket like DMS can.

Even though it's corny as hell, it works when the Like a River beat drops and DMS strides in, fearless, arrogant and dominant. Just like they said. Even the sun drops behind him. The others have to squint to see him. That's how awesome he is. And all he has eyes for is Shancai. Major SWOON.
Apparently Shancai was just getting warmed up with her insults, and she now directs them at DMS. *sigh* It's very clear that he shouldn't fight back for Shancai's sake. Who knew that scissors are the weapon of choice for mediocre gangsters? Just like who knew that "don't look at me with your filthy face. Close your eyes" would be the most romantic line in this episode? The way his tone changes from a sense of urgency, to a pleading tenderness that belies the words being spoken is just so...heartbreaking.  She know this she obliges and closes her eyes with tears streaming down her face.

He's almost manic, and trembling with anger as he takes this beating. He doesn't back down, he doesn't fight back, he taunts his tormentors, and Shancai is just about to lose her mind! He's spitting out blood, and they're hitting him so hard that the sticks are breaking, just like our hearts.

You hear sirens and a flash of white and the next thing you know,  DMS is walking on the beach towards the ocean and Shancai is chasing after him. Asking where he's going, warning him that it's dangerous. He looks back and says "don't you hate me?" She denies that she hates him and he says that even if she likes or hates him, that it doesn't matter anymore. And with an abrupt "bye" after his signature smile, he turns away and walks towards the waves.

I really don't like this set up. Is the expectation is that he's going to walk into the ocean and drown?  Meanwhile, Shancai is pleading with him to not go, and that it's all her fault. I don't know what's going on, but Shancai, your makeup looks good. Keep it up.

She wakes from this dream in the hospital flanked by he parents and she's processing all that has happened. There's a flashback to the most romantic line in the this episode again and she runs out of her room in search of DMS. That's right, you go gurl, go find your man! She sees Lei first who points to the room. She reflects back to the warehouse and wonders why because of her, didn't he fight back? You see the scene again when they're trying to beat DMS's arrogant $hit out of him, and Shancai runs over to DMS to protect him from another blow. With her hands tied behind her back, and Ah-Si clutching her and looking up at her from the ground, he earnestly tells her that if he fought back, then he would really lose, before he collapses on the floor.

She gingerly opens the door and Ximen tell her that it's too late and that he passed peacefully, and Meizuo also saying that he couldn't believe that DMS would go down like that.  She walks to the bed,  and pulls down the white sheet and see his face.  She falls down to her knees, starts losing her $hit and hysterically yells at him to wake up! She still manages to yell at him, and then Ah Si says "what are you talking about.  Is that how you treat a patient?"  It's amazing that F3 were able to play along,  and then there were high-5s all around.  Suddenly Shancai springs up and straddles Ah Si in bed to choke him. Whoa there,  this is  way more action than he's ever going to get...DMS must really be in pain because he tells her that it hurts. Is it about to go 50 Shades of Grey up in here?  Nope.

DMS and Shancai are adorable in their his and hers matching hospital jammies and F3 share with Shancai just how absurd DMS was in his past, and how is Mr. Virtue now, and they're taking all the credit for this change. Very Queer Eye for the Straight Guy.  F3 leave and it's back to the type of awkwardness reserved for when an Asian Adonis saves your life and you can't even look him in the eye to say "Xie Xie."

She's unusually quiet, then they bicker like ol' times, but then she turns away and confesses her dream to him about how he died. She didn't think he would come after all the things she said to him, and you can tell she feels horrible about his beat down. He sweetly reminds  her that even if she went to Mars, that he's still go after her and that she wouldn't be able to get rid of him in this life. First she gets upgraded jammies, and then this reminder of his devotion? She betta recognize!

F3 are in the hospital hallway and Big Ears approaches. I love how quickly F3 mobilize into Charlie's angels formation.  Don't be fooled by Lei's snuggly scarf - I bet he'd use that to smother you in 2 secs.

Ah Si and Shancai are arguing again...and in walks Big Ears. I love how DMS's protective instincts can't be contained even with 3 broken ribs, as he positions himself between Big Ears and Shancai. He tries to apologies, but it's too little, too late. Somehow he thinks it's a shame that she's together with DMS.  What a L.O.S.E.R. No ones care what you think. Leave, and don't forget to take your ears with you on the way out.

F3 are trying to force them together and selling Ah Si like he's the last car in the lot on 12/31 waiting to be sold to hit the year end quota. They're ganging up on her and she stutters and ends up saying that he's a dog and runs off. What a bitch!

Back at the DMS mansion -  F3 are barking out dog jokes and references, and DMS is pissed.  Relax's not like she called you a 'lil bitch!. He really is traumatized and does look like he's going to explode as he storms off.  And then Ximen with his commentary on how innocent girls are annoying because they have unrealistic expectations, does't really know the truth - which is that we're annoying because mostly men are dogs. They determine that this best strategy is to help DMS chip away at Shancai's stubbornness.  Is there not an easier, faster way? Because that kinda sounds like a bitch.

Back at school, her Mingde besties help catch her up with missed lecture notes and Shancai goes up to rooftop to chat with Lei.  He tells her that DMS has been released from the hospital and is concerned that her wound might get infected because it's exposed. Coincidentally, he has a spare band-aid in his pocket for her to use!... A a big fan of DMS and Shancai - he reminds her how much DMS likes her and Shancai confesses to him that she doesn't  know how to face DMS with any confidence.  He advises her just to take things slowly.  That seems so Lei-ish, in a good way.

DMS strides up and wedges himself right in between them. Yup, that's my spot right there, thank you very much.

You can tell that he's back at school because he misses Shancai...but is still hurt that she called him a dog. She tries to tell him that it's a metaphor, and to not take it so literally.  Literally, or personally?  What a bitch. He barks at her that she doesn't know that Jan 31st is his birthday and tells her to bring a gift.  That's not awkward at all.  But that's nothing compared to DMS dropping the bomb that his mom will be there too, and to wear something nice. What a bitch to find something to wear - unless it's a corset, leave the lace ups at home. Shancai freaks at meeting the Momster- and finally has a normal reaction that makes sense.  Because DMS's mom? What a bitch.


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